I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
