ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
