Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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