once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
