So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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