I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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