It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
