Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
