Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
