When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
