Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
