Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Congratulations! We have a period
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
