well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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