I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
