i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
