Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
