i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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