Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
