you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
