Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
