I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
