I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
