Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
