i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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