I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
