More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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