Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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