I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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