No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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