the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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