So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
