Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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