Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
