remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
