If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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