i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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