If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
