Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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