Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
