haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
