Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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