What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
