did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
50% drunk capacity currently
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
