I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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