just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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