No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
