Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
