"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize