It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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