all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My vagina is very pro this idea
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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