He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
