How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
