Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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