I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
