I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
