So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
