I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
