pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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