And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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