you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I love having hate sex.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
