the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
