it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
