i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My pussy is not your playground.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
